Depressive Apathy

I’m tethered to the couch. Blanket, pillows, dog. There’s a working TV, and Netflix when the former becomes painfully tacky – weekend daytime TV sigh. Caffeine limited. Just enough to avoid a headache. I don’t want to be awake and anyway the effort required to get an energy drink out of the fridge or worse, make a coffee is just monumental. Too monumental. 

I have no money. Related is no desirable caffeine options. No WoW distraction thanks to an expired subscription. No smokes – but a good chance to quit. No food. At all. Not even restriction options. No B/P. No fucking motivation.

I might not live off “good” things. Healthy or desirable or moral. But these things give me a reason to be concious. Right now. 90% of these tbings are gone and I can’t even fathom the thought of being functional.